Among many things, I know how to create delicious vegan & vegetarian meals from scratch, how to train for and run a half marathon, how to pole, ride a bike, write a story, draw a simple picture and how to make people feel valued and safe.  After 5 years in the game, I’m really shaping up to be a great teacher!  And because I am a teacher, I know how to budget down to the socks, while still enjoying life.  I’m great at planning things!  I can plan a trip to virtually any place in the world on a modest budget.    In the past 2 years, I’ve visited over 15 countries, without pulling out a credit card ONCE (which, truth be told, is kinda a BIG deal and a hassle at the same time lol).

I’m a Lauryn Hill and wine connoisseur (…okay, maybe more like a loyal fan.)

Oh, and did I mention, I’m a beast at spades (depending on who you ask).

In the words of the little kid from the famous movie, Big Daddy, “…I WIPE MY OWN *SS!” …sheesh!

Now with all of this greatness that I have to offer the world, the most consistent question that I am asked, is not about any of these things or how to do any of these things.  But rather…


“So, uh, Ebony, uh…when are you getting MARRIED?!”




Or this one,


“Oh Ebony you deserve it, you’ve been doing all the wifely duties!”


WHAAAA???? First, let me be completely honest and unapologetic.  I’m certain that I’ve not been doing all the wifely duties and nor should I (or any woman who is not married to a man) be.

My life does not start when I get a boyfriend, fiancé or become a wife.  No doubt, I expect my life to enhance.  Change for the better? Yes. But, not start.

Now, hold up, I know what some might be tempted to think. I’m in no way trying to rain on the parade of those happily dating, engaged or married.  The man that I love puts the color inside of my world and makes me so happy that I can barely contain it on most days!  I am all about the celebration of real genuine love, especially Black love.  And I fully expect to commit myself to a wonderful man for better and for worse.  I fully expect to create a safe place for my man and to always be there, even when it’s not easy and/or I don’t see the vision.  I BELIEVE in the magic that love creates and I want to see that love multiplied throughout the universe, among my loved ones and strangers, alike.



…Now with all that being said, I want to be recognized as a person of worth, out here moving and shaking things up in this world, regardless of my relationship status!  See the amazing things that I am doing! Ask me about those things!  My relationship status is not the only factor in my life and it does not define my success.

Now, I know that many of my loved ones who constantly ask me about my relationship status, mean well (like my 90+ year old great grandpa who asks me almost every time he sees me lol).  They are happy for me and have no shady intents, instead, genuine love and excitement.  And the good feelings are definitely appreciated 🙂

…But let’s not forget to include those other very important components of a person’s life, into the conversation, as well.  Especially in our girl groups!  Let’s remember to intentionally focus on the BOSS moves that our girls are making, while also celebrating all of the amazing love that our girls find.  And lastly, but oh so importantly, let’s encourage everyone to see themselves as a person worthy & capable of love every day of their life.  Whether currently in a relationship or not.


oh yeah, and the answer is none of yo’ business.

© 2016, gagf16. All rights reserved.

3 thoughts on “An Answer for Your Question

  1. Good read! You are an awwsome individual all on your own! Can’t wait to hear how you are continuing to shake it up back in the States…but I still want an answer to everybody’s question in the near future😜

  2. I love it and I love you! We definitely shouldn’t be defined by our relationship status, though I understand between the stage of development we’re in intimate partnerships are important, but shouldn’t be the end all be all

  3. I have to say that I completely agree with everything you said. I am a happily married 20 something female and I too believe in the enhancement that my husband gave me, but if I’m honest I was already AWESOME SAUCE before I met him. Making moves and a difference in the world is a much better definition of my life than who I married and why.

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